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Remember To Remember
A. Helwa
A name at a time, a bead at a time, a be at a time, a kun fayakun and I see all the signs. The seed in the thorn, the thorn in the vine, the fruit in the fragrance. It’s Divine. That wine before the vine, that existence before time, when the stars and the seas all aligned in a spaceless place, when darkness and light interlaced, when the heavens and the earth still embraced.
On the wings of a single breath, I arrive in this moment as if I never left, because I never left. Are we not all asleep dreaming in the garden of the garden? What did you look like before you were born, before you were torn from the womb, before you were conceived, before you were a prayer in Adam and Eve? Before Adam could breathe, when all of humanity was just clay pots of pottery on the wheel of time. It’s Divine. Be and it is, His love is the womb of everything that exists.
Oh I remember! I remember!
I empty my mind-fullness and become mindful that the entire path is remindfulness. To remember to remember. To remember when I forget. The mysterious origin of these breaths, how Divine Love embraces my emptiness and makes me whole, this sacred breeze that weaves through the reed of my body, awakening the music of my soul. A note that no musician can hold, a silent symphony of hope.
Oh I remember! I remember!
My prayer is not how I call out to God, my prayer is how I receive His answer. His answer arrives before the question, His giving comes before my need, and His mercy exists before my sin. How can I ever be the doer when I am just areflection?
I let God and let go, when I remember even my prayer is an echo, a song composed of what the Divine, already wrote to be mine. I am stuck in time, but God is not. I am both free and catching up to His Decree. “The pens have been lifted and the ink is dry.” God wrote me into existence outside of time. Who am I outside my “I”? How can I see the One with these two eyes that part? Lord awaken my inner eye that one that hides inside my heart.
Oh I remember! I remember!
When I remember to remember I see only unity, I see every you in me, 8 billion different raindrops dissolving into the sea of He.
This world is a prison, loving Him is the only key. He is my freedom, He is my retreat. It is only in the remembrance of His names that I ever find peace.
Lord, polish my heart with Your name, until I fade, until You wash me entirely away, until all that remains is the light of Your Loving Face.
Ya Rahman
Ya Rahim
Ya Wadud
Ya Halim